Renazoa's side

'Here we go,' I said quiet enough so on one heard me. I turned to try and see my twin sister, that didn't look much like each other anymore because we used to "look" alike. Besides the fact like she is like a few inches taller then me, has two different eye colors, and she has a totally different bird then I do. Yes, I was short because of my bird, the blue jay I loved them even though I'd never seen one with my own eyes, they were majestic and blue, my favorite color I might add.
After some thoughts of getting away and depression took over because I had met my parents, even though I havent. I've experienced a concert even though I had never seen the outside world, not because it had forgotten me or because I was some kind of creepy hermit, no it was because I was taken here to be experienced on. Sometimes, my power is a burden because I can see in the past and feel how they felt and see everything, right now to the color.
I mostly talked to my sister about what I saw but she never really listened, she never did. She treated me like what I thought an older sister would treat a younger sister like, sure it was only a ten minute period of time between our births but, it still made her protect me and make sure I was alright.
The truth of the matter though? As long as I am here, I am not alright and I will never be alright.

"Do you ever think we will get out of here?" I said looking at my sisters crate but their was only silence.

'I take that as a no,' I thought to myself again because it was past sleeping time. I never slept because it made me think of the past, my gold and blue eyes must've been dull with sleep and my black layered hair dulled and lost its shine because I couldnt support my body with enough pleasure to sleep. It was a burden because I always dreamed of the past and how it was. All of the fire, famines, wars what I would give to live in that world, it was better than here. I knew how to take care of myself but did the others? Hopefully so since they have lived here.
Tonight I couldnt stand it four days with no sleep of my top number, now it was five considering that I had assumed that I have been awake for five days. We all never really knew how long we had been here. But I know, not that I would ever tell anyone because it might lead them to a false hope that I cannot be held responsible for, was this a sin on my part? The fear of showing these people who I have lived with for years with no hope and no happiness and not letting them see what I see and what I hear.
All, of these could not keep me from my dream world any more. I let myself drift off into my sleep of past dreams and cramped-ness not get to me because I was going to have nightmares. Nightmares, of others lives their terror their fears their dreams all played out in my mind like a story book, but what was I to do? I couldnt control it. But tomorrow is a new day full of... Bitter depression and unhappiness. Good night Mind-Journal.

Love?,
Renazoa

P.S what is love? Can you define it, or can you feel it?